


Well, sometimes we go out by ourselves and look across the water.

by danika (persephone20)



Series: season two musings [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: Glee ep: 'Duets', Glee ep: 'Furt', Glee ep: 'Never Been Kissed', Glee ep: 'Special Education', Glee ep: 'The Rocky Horror Glee Show', Glee ep: 'The Substitute', Missing Scene, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-14
Updated: 2011-05-14
Packaged: 2017-10-19 09:25:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/persephone20/pseuds/danika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why Santana pushed Brittany away in 'Duets', and how she got her back again. Mid-length between-the-scenes fic from <i>Glee</i> episodes 'Duets' 2.04 to 'Special Education' 2.09.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Duets

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'ed, as always, by the beautiful coquellion.

Brittany’s guileless face smiled into hers as they sat together, fingers intertwined, on the bed in Santana’s bedroom. Their hair was mussed and Santana pulled her hand away to run fingers through her hair in order to get it back to some semblance of order. The smile she had for Brittany was warm. Ever since shortly after Quinn had had her baby, she’d had Puck back to herself. Added to that these times with Brittany, and Santana had everything. Nobody made fun of someone who was doing Puck, just like nobody made fun of someone who was a cheerleader at McKinley High. She was one of the queens of the school, and everyone knew it. Most of all, Santana knew it. It was in every look, every step, and every touch, even here in the bedroom with Brittany.

“Oh, sweet lady kisses.”

Santana’s lips curved against Brittany’s. She loved the way this girl speaks. Perhaps if she hadn’t been a cheerleader too, people at McKinley would have made fun of her. They’d only try once. After that, they’d know the feel of Santana’s fist to the side of the head, her knee in their groin. Santana had grown up in Lima Heights Adjacent, the wrong side of the tracks. She knew how to look after her own. She totally wasn’t a lesbian, but Brittany had the best legs in the world. Her lips tasted like the strawberry lip gloss she wore. When she tasted it on her own lips at school, she’d think of Brittany, think of what they could be doing hidden away in this bedroom, or a broom closet, together.

“We should do a duet together,” Brittany suggested. “We should sing Melissa Etheridge’s ‘Come To My Window’.”  
Santana pulled back from Brittany. Was she kidding? This must be one of those moments where Brittany didn’t understand the implications of what she was saying, or simply hadn’t thought far enough in to seeing that there would implications. She decided to make light of it.

“First of all, there’s a lot of talking going on. And I wants to get my mack on.” Her voice was full of snark. Santana could hear it. She knew Brittany heard it. Much as she tried to tell herself Brittany was used to her snark, she knew she’d never aimed it at Brittany before. Brit was the only person who was safe from her snark. Trying to gloss over the moment, Santana leaned in again to try to kiss this conversation away.

Which would have worked too, if Brittany hadn’t continued, “Well, I don’t know, I just—”

She was frowning, and Santana could see that she’d hurt Brittany’s feelings with her earlier tone. She didn’t like that. But she didn’t like that she didn’t like that more, and the next words that came out of her mouth were heavily defensive.

“Second of all,” Santana continued. “I’m not making out with you because I’m in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies.” She turned her face away from Brittany. All thoughts of their earlier ‘sweet lady kisses’ were far, far behind now. She swallowed. As if the idea of singing about their feelings in front of Glee club was ludicrous. They’d get fried. Even the fact that she was a cheerleader wouldn’t stop people getting down on her, and the fact that Puck was in juvie right now meant she wasn’t even going to be able to keep up appearances.

Fuck that. She could take care of herself, but no way in hell she was taking care of this.

When she said the next words, she knew they were wrong as soon as they were coming out of her mouth, “I’m only here because Puck’s been in the slammer for about 12 hours now and I’m like a lizard; I need something warm beneath me or I can’t digest my food.”

She stood up, and got off the bed, still without looking at Brittany. She didn’t want to see the hurt expression that would be on her face, but there for absolutely no reason. By her.

**

When she approached Mercedes the next day to talk about their duets project for Glee club, it was with the backbone of how right she’d been the night before that propelled her. After Brittany had left, she’d sat in front of her mirror and reminded herself of every reason why her doing things this way was absolutely right, and that Brittany would come around.

With the force of that behind her, how could Mercedes do anything but agree to be her duet partner? First they would win this competition, and then everything would go back to normal between her and Brittany, sans any talk about Melissa Etheridge and lady kissing songs.

So when she continued down the corridor and saw Brittany wheeling Artie in his wheelchair, it was like a kick to the chest. The look in Brittany’s eyes when she looked at her, drew a cross over her chest, then turned away, was all that was needed to bring tears to her eyes. Tears she angrily blinked away before anyone saw them. Coach Sylvester was right when she stormed through a corridor, shoving children left, right and centre. When the end of that day came, there were a lot more people at that school feeling wary about Santana walking past.

*

_‘Do I love you my oh my  
River deep mountain high  
If I lost you would I cry...’_

Santana knew that she and Mercedes were owning this competition. Come the end of the week, they’d be dining at Breadsticks, courtesy of Mr. Shue. Still, as she was singing, she couldn’t stop herself from looking in Brittany’s direction almost defiantly, defiant certainly of everyone else in the room with them.

She put a brave face on it. It didn’t hurt to look so fucking amazing in front of Rachel either. The look of horror on the brunette’s face was almost enough to quell the feeling growing in her heart.

What Santana was unaware of was a conversation that had happened between Mercedes and Quinn. They’d grown close while Quinn was pregnant, and stayed that way after.

“You know why Brittany’s started hanging around with Artie, don’t you?”

Mercedes’ brow furrowed. “I just thought she was nice to everyone. She’s friends with that Becky kid, isn’t she?”

Quinn smiled a smile that was indulgent of Mercedes’ naivety. “That’s sweet. Brittany started hanging around with Becky the last time that Santana shot her down over something. Who even knows what it was this time. Honestly, Santana doesn’t deserve to have someone as kind as Brittany keep coming back to her.”

Mercedes thought she had a fairly good idea of what had been involved in this occasion of shooting down. Everyone had expected Santana and Brittany to sing together for this one, especially after the love songs challenge they’d sung together earlier in the year. Probably Brittany had expected it too.

Santana was too distracted by the closeness that seemed to be growing between Brittany and Artie to be aware of Quinn’s observation of her. She was late walking in to Glee club one morning, but just in time to overhear Artie talking to Tina.

“...our working relationship has blossomed into romance.”

He shrugged to Tina and wheeled himself to where everyone else was sitting, but not before Santana caught the look that crossed between Artie and Brittany. Once, that look had been only for her. Oh, for sure, Brittany had slept with pretty much every boy in the school, but that was like a game to Brittany. It didn’t mean anything. Brittany didn’t cheat on Santana with other girls, just like she didn’t give boys those kinds of looks. Those were her looks, for her only.

That night, instead of reaffirming in her mirror how much of a fine piece of action she was, one that everyone in McKinley High feared but also wanted, Santana fought to keep back tears. She’d never been the kind of girl who just idly sat by. Doing was her thing, and heaven help anyone who accidentally got in the way of her once she was on a mission. But this night, it took longer than usual to gather her thoughts together in order to think of a plan. It wasn’t meant to be like this. Santana prided herself on not feeling things like other people did. That only got people hurt. And yet, as she stared at her own blotchy red cheekbones and watery eyes, she realised that the only way to get Brittany back now was to make a plan.

**

Artie wasn’t hard to find. He was the boy travelling around slowly in a wheelchair, at about half the height of everyone else in the school. The difficulty was finding him alone, without Brittany.

In the cafeteria, Santana rehearsed her words to say to him before approaching him. It was all very simple, really.

“The only thing Brittany can’t get without you is easy access parking.”

Her jaw jutted out as she spoke these words to him, daring him to answer anything back. But she was used to dealing with Puck, or with her own parents, people who would fight back if she said something like this. Artie didn’t. As her words settled over him, his head just bowed down into his chest, and his shoulders hunched. In a way, it almost made her feel bad, but not too bad. There was no way Artie would sing with Brittany now. Certainly she’d busted up any possibility of romance between the two of them. She’d already made certain she’d won that dinner at Breadsticks, and after a free sponsored meal there, maybe she’d take Brittany out to dinner there to make it up to her. They’d do other stuff afterward, and it would be like none of this had ever happened.

*

In the afternoon when Quinn and Sam sung their duet, Mercedes seemed to take a lot of pride in pointing out how much more likely they were as winners in the competition for dinner at Breadsticks. Santana just maintained an extreme look of displeasure but kept it to only a couple of under the breath remarks throughout.

She was walking around a corner as Artie told Brittany he was no longer interested in either singing with her or going out with her. She was also pleased when Artie showed himself as enough of a gentleman not to reveal exactly who had passed him the information that had led him to this decision.

After Artie wheeled away and left Brittany standing on her own, Santana started to go up to her. She wanted to actually approach Brittany, but something about her expression stopped her. It wasn’t the expression Santana had imagined when she’d told her she wouldn’t sing with her. But it was hurt. Santana had managed to hurt her again.

Faltering in her step, about halfway between where she had stood and Brittany, Santana realised that she didn’t know how to face her. Her eyes skated around to the other kids in the school corridor, feeling very vulnerable and exposed. For a minute, it felt as though they could all tell exactly what she was thinking. And how would they look at her if they knew those thoughts?

Shaking her head quickly, causing her high ponytail to bob back and forth rapidly, Santana realised she didn't want to deal with this. She didn't want to deal with any of this.


	2. Rocky Horror Glee Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'ed, as always, by the beautiful coquellion.

In the end, it wasn’t Santana who went to Brittany, but Brittany who came up to Santana. Near the beginning of the day, out near Santana’s locker, Santana closed her locker door to find Brittany standing there.

“Hey,” said Brittany softly and, without thinking, Santana reached out to caress Brittany’s hair, tied up as it was in the Cheerios regulation high ponytail. “It’s been a long time since we came up to each other, so I thought...”

“Don’t sweat it,” Santana said, immediately downplaying the moment. Brittany looked down at the white linoleum of the school corridor, and Santana realised she wanted to relent. “I mean... yeah, I missed you too.”

Still looking down at the linoleum, Brittany smiled and, even though she wasn’t smiling at her, Santana felt a sudden brightness inside. All she’d had to reply of Brittany over the last couple of weeks had been the distressed looks that she’d caused. But Brittany wasn’t the type to hold grudges. Santana actually wondered if Brittany still remembered what had caused them not catching up lately.

The two girls stepped away from Santana’s locker and started to head towards Spanish.

“I think... today’s the day that clown coloured tights are going to be in,” Brittany mused, as Santana linked their pinkies.

Santana shook her head. “No, Britt. Clown coloured tights are never going to be in,” she answered.

They weren’t far from the Spanish class, but the bell had gone a little while ago. Taking a chance that everyone who was going to be in the class today was already in there, Santana used their joined pinkies to pull Brittany closer to her. Brittany never objected to this, and their little altercation of a couple of weeks before had done nothing to change that. Before long, their pinkies were separated as Santana lifted her arms to wrap around Brittany’s shoulders.

“Hey, uh.... Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Finn was awkward at the best of times, but it was even worse now. Hearing his voice, Santana pulled away from Brittany sharply, affecting an expression of nonchalance.

“Whatev,” she replied, as Finn disappeared quickly into the Spanish room.

Brittany waited patiently for a couple of moments to let Santana speak. When she didn’t, she ventured, “Do you think we should follow?”

Santana shook her head. What had Finn been doing late to class, anyway? He was trying to get good grades in Spanish now that he idolised Mr. Shue. Well, at least it had been him, and not some other jerk on the football club. Not that they didn’t all know what a hot piece of ass she was, but Finn was dating Rachel anyway, so who was he to judge if he saw anyone else kissing anyone else in public? If he thought it was a good idea to tell someone, Santana still had the secret that she’d slept with him over his head. She’d let him know not to mess with her, show him that it wasn’t nice to have the spotlight shone on you, not difficult since Rachel had volunteered him for the character of Brad in Rocky Horror.

But, until then... Santana smiled to herself grimly. “Nah,” she said, tossing her hair and deciding not to worry about it for now. She turned to Brittany and forced a smile. “Let’s have an early lunch in the park.”

*

Santana had decided that she really liked this musical. Firstly, it had seen her dancing with both Brittany and Dr. Dreamy McDentist, filling her head with images of what it would have been like for her and Brittany to have been dancing privately for him and acting out the musical properly. Secondly had been the lunch time that had ended on she and Brittany catching Miss Pilsberry and Mr. Shue singing to each other, which had ended in another musical number between them.

They’d had a pyjama party where they’d rented Rocky Horror and watched it through, getting distracted multiple times along the way, and having to rewind it and play back to keep track of the things they had missed. It had taken most of the night to watch what was a 98 minute movie, and Santana had no regrets.

Dancing around the school yard and corridors singing ‘Touch me, touch me, touch me, touch me’ had led to Santana dragging Brittany into the nearest janitor’s closet and closing the door firmly before the end of lunch time. They’d had to be quiet because of the students still walking around outside, but they were at least safe from other people coming in. No janitor did their job over lunch with all the students around.

“Mr. Shue looks really good with his top off,” Brittany breathed, before Santana turned back to her.

“Give me Dr. Dreamy any day,” Santana growled, fingers already creeping up under the other girl’s cheerleading top, and provoking many giggles and uttered ‘shhh’s that were not nearly so quiet as they might have been.

Songs from Rocky Horror were still running through Santana’s head, perhaps making her more adventurous than she might usually have been. She bit down hard on Brittany’s lower lip, and knew that she’d be nursing swollen lips for the rest of the day at school. Let everyone else wonder which boy had scored with Brittany. Brittany and Santana would know the truth. There was a very smug smile on Santana’s lips later on that afternoon, even as she sat apart from Brittany in Glee club.

Rocky Horror had lately been responsible for a lot of sexy times, as far as Santana was concerned.


	3. Never Been Kissed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between the scenes fic from _Glee_ 2.04 - 2.09. Explains why Santana pushed Brittany away in 'Duets', and how she got her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'ed, as always, by the beautiful coquellion

Santana thought they had any ties over Artie sorted the fuck out and over with already. Santana and Brittany had their lady lovings goin’ on and were able to keep doing what they were doing because the boys didn’t mean anything to them. Puck came out of juvie, and Santana felt like her life was made out of sweet, sweet melty butter. After juvie, Puck was way needy about the sexy times, and being around women, as opposed to guys, and that was just fine with Santana. For a while, it felt like everything was back to normal again.

Then Puck started hanging around with Artie. Something about a disability outreach program instead of community service. Santana was down with that, but then Puck started sharing all his moves with Artie. And that led to a double date with the two of them, and Santana and Brittany.

Santana was being sarcastic when she agreed, but just one look at Brittany showed she was genuine. And then, of course, Santana had to go along to watch how it went down.

“So there I was in juvie...” Puck told his story with the usual amount of testosterone fuelled ego. Anyone who listened to Puck’s stories knew they were part dramatics, part meant to make himself look good and, tiny part, true. But they were still entertaining. And Santana was all for it until she saw the way Brittany was looking at Artie. It was a good thing Artie didn’t seem interested in Brittany anymore cause Brittany looked as into him as Santana was into Puck.

She felt relieved when Puck picked up their party, compelling she and Brittany to follow after Puck as he walked away, and leaving Wheels to follow on behind. Even better was when Wheels just had to go and pay for the dinner against what Puck had said, and Puck tore him down then took the two girls with him, and deserted Artie.

There was never any happier time for Santana than when she was with Puck and Brittany. That she didn’t have to share any more of the night with the other competition for Brittany’s affections was all win.

They reached Puck’s place and Santana watched as Brittany kissed Puck first. It was fair. She hadn’t seen him yet, hadn’t had the nightly visits since Puck had been back from juvie. She didn’t mind sharing Puck with Brittany, and she certainly liked to watch.

Puck’s mom didn’t care when he had girls over. Santana even wondered if she had noticed when Puck had been away at juvie. Didn’t matter. Santana called her mom to say she’d be staying with Brittany, Brittany called her mom to say she’d be at Santana’s, and that was that.

It was a very groggy three teenagers who crawled out of Puck’s bed the morning after, with not enough sleep and several times of snooze being pressed on alarms. Only Brittany slept through all the noise of the phones and Puck getting up to piss. Santana lifted herself up on her arm and looked at Brittany’s face over the curve of her shoulder. Her hair was still in its ponytail, now dishevelled and leaning heavily to the side. Puck had had a good time holding onto that as Britt had gone down on him, sometime around the time that Santana had been going down on her.

Her own much darker hair fell against Brittney’s pale shoulder and the taller girl mumbled in her sleep and half-heartedly shrugged. Santana smiled. It was a soft smile, not the sort that most people ever got to see. Even Brittany had only seen it a handful of times, though there had been a larger handful of times like this that Brittany wasn’t aware of. She was her girl.

A clattering against the bathroom door signalled Puck’s return, and Santana adopted her usual aloof exterior. Her Cheerios uniform was discarded over Puck’s chest of drawers, where it had been found often enough in the last couple of days that it almost looked as though it belonged there. She got up and grabbed the uniform, putting it on again as she left the room to take the next shower. Fuck wearing a t-shirt of his to walk across the hall. She knew just how much he’d like to see her in his clothes, like he owned her or something. As if.

Brittany was awake, and blinking wearily, when Santana walked back into the room, her hair pulled back into its immaculate ponytail.

“Coffee?” Santana demanded, tossing a look at Puck.

“You know where it is,” Puck said, without looking up from the socks he was putting on.

“Next shower’s yours,” Santana said to Brittany, before she disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.

By the time they all arrived at Glee club to do their girls’ rock number, memories of the night before were still fresh in her mind. As she did her dancing thing, she felt Puck’s eyes on her like fire. It was intoxicating and delicious and exactly the way that every day should go.

The boys’ number was barely noteworthy in comparison, but for Puck all but giving her a lap dance as she shimmied before him. Next to her, she was hyper aware of Brittany, so happy with herself and with them that she let it slide that Artie was the one dancing in front of Brittany.


	4. The Substitute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'ed, as always, by the beautiful coquellion.

After getting up and dancing with each other, Puck and Brittany were still grinning and following each other out of the choir room come lunch time. Brittney was giggling as Puck was still trying to poke her, and Santana was following along behind them.

If anyone tried to ruin her happy family right now, she reckoned she’d kill them, hide the body, and then forget about it. Not like say they’re dead, then threaten them with a punch that never came any closer than an inch to their face. Really dead. Like pre-empting worms and dirt. Dead.

As one of the footballers came by and made some lewd comment about Brittany’s chest—because of course that’s what Puck was going for, well it probably was, but that wasn’t the business of some stupid random footballer—Santana didn’t have the chance to react first because Puck went from joking around to springing to attack in naught-point- three. Even as Santana went to back him, Puck was reaching into the jock’s unzipped backpack and pulling out athlete’s foot medicine, and the footballer’s getting it in the eye.

“Are you okay?” Santana turned around to ask Brittany.

“I thought he was talking about the ‘C’ on my uniform,” Brittany replied, her brow furrowed.

Santana smiled, because that answer meant that Brittany was okay. That didn’t mean Puck stopped beating on the jock. Santana didn’t see this a bad thing, not until Beiste appeared and pulled Puck off his teammate. Santana made sure to give him a look underneath her lashes before he got dragged away, a look that lets him know he’s gonna get real happy for this later on, no matter how Beiste yells at him in the locker room.   
*

“So, are we like... doing this regularly now?” Brittany asked the question from the bathroom at Puck’s place, as she helps Santana put up her hair for the day. Santana didn’t need the help, she just liked the feeling of Brittany’s fingers running through her hair.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled, looking down at the stuff Puck’s mom has in this bathroom so she can avoiding Brittany’s eyes in the bathroom mirror.

“I just thought... cause...” Brittany shrugged, then went back to doing Santana’s hair.

Santana only just held back a sigh. Afterwards, Santana had planned to do Brittany’s hair for her in return, but now she didn’t know if she wanted to do it anymore.

Why did people have to go get confusing about these things? She didn’t know why she thought it would be different with a girl. Guys were always telling her that they liked that she’s not clingy like all the other girls. Fuck that.

“Why can’t it be you’re pretty, I like you, let’s fuck?” she asked Brittany out loud.

“It can be. I like you,” Brittany murmurs, and then she smiles, leans in, and gently takes Santana’s lips under her own.

Alright, Santana thought, turning back to smile at herself in the mirror. Maybe she would do Brittany’s hair for her after all.


	5. Furt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'ed, as always, by the beautiful coquellion.

Her footsteps were quick and sure as she walked towards the auditorium, but they slowed as she overheard the sound of Rachel’s voice. Resuming her quick paced step, she barged into the Glee room, demanding to know why there had been a Glee meeting without her.

It wasn’t until after the initial rush of offence over Quinn’s comments (“I’m dating Puck” “You’re getting naked with Puck”) faded that Santana paused to consider the other implication of that short conversation.

Brittany was dating Artie?

*

She confronted Brittany outside of her locker. Brittany looked up to see her, a pretty, open smile on her lips. Santana wasn’t interested.

“San-”

“Can it. You’re dating Artie now?” Santana raised one of her delicately shaped eyebrows right up into her hair.

Brittany’s lips parted. “He’s a real sweet-”

Santana slammed her hand into the locker next to Brittany’s, causing Britt to flinch. “You didn’t tell me.”

Before Brittany could make a response, Santana shook her head and lifted her hand away from the locker.

“Forget it,” she said, turning away jerkily and stalking away.

*

She made an obvious step of intimidation towards Artie, murder shining in her eyes, in the time before Mr. Shue arrived for Glee rehearsal that afternoon.

Artie eyes were wide behind his glasses even after she’d taken her seat.

*

Little things were starting to make more sense, now. They used to talk much more, Santana and Brittany. Not always about anything serious. But Brittany had been the person Santana had gone to when she’d had her first kiss, at 12, with a senior boy who seemed surprised when it all went down. Of course Brittany, also 12, had had to go out and kiss her first boy the day after, just so they would both know what they were talking about.

Britt had been the person Santana had gone to when she’d had her first breakup. The relationship itself had lasted less than 2 weeks, but it had solidified, inSantana’s mind, what she’d already been thinking of relationships based on her parents’ marriage. Love was a word that got thrown back and forth after a fight had been resolved. It was something you said you held back to hurt someone. It was something you used to your advantage.

It was never, ever, something you honestly felt. When Santana had realised this undeniable truth in the second year of middle school, Brittany had been the one who was able to put Santana’s sobbed words together to make any sense of them. Forever after that, the feeling of Brittany’s hand rubbing her back had been the most comforting thing in Santana’s word.

Brittany had developed late. It had been the only thing the two girls hadn’t been able to force sharing with each other, because Santana had had breasts since the end of elementary school. But it had been Brittany’s growing breasts that had changed everything for Santana. Before that, Santana had viewed Brittany as an extension of her; the little sister, perhaps, that she had always wanted but never had. But with the development of Brittany’s body into an undeniably attractive young woman, Santana had started to develop... feelings.

She’d been able to get around them, mostly. How else were they to learn about sexy stuff if they didn’t practice on each other? And, then, it wasn’t cheating on their boyfriends when they didn’t stop playing with each other because they had different plumbing. And, anyway, by then they were Cheerios, so they could pretty much get away with doing whatever they wanted to.

Except the one thing Santana most wanted to do. Because she wouldn’t give up her status, her popularity, for a relationship with Brittany that would just end and take away with it anything that had ever meant anything to her. Because love, love was that thing that was only good to hurt another. And Santana never wanted to hurt Brittany. More than that, she never wanted Brittany to hurt her.

And so, it was about the time the girls hit high school that Santana and Brittany begun to stop talking about everything serious that they felt or went through. At first, Brittany didn’t seem to get it. She kept trying to bring up conversations about crushes or experiences they’d both had. But, eventually, she stopped trying.

*

She decided to take a different tack when coming up to Finn before the wedding between his mom and Kurt’s dad. He seemed to appreciate this seeming offering of civility, especially after the antagonism she’d been directing towards him from Rocky Horror all the way to the fight that had happened between Kurt and Karofski.

His eyes were, at first, the wary eyes of a pet who has been abused before. When she smiled at him, she judged it had been the right kind of smile for the cautious smile that curved the edges of his lips. But as she tried to breach the time that had passed between their dirty deed and the right now, it became an effort to keep that smile on her face.

Love. All he wanted to talk about was love. And that might have been okay if it had been love directed at her. She’d been able to use that kind of love to her advantage before. But love as a reason not to have sex with her again? What was this? Love only hurt and destroyed people. It wasn’t a good reason to hold back from the pleasure two people could get from fifteen minutes rolling around on sheets, carpets, or whatever availed itself. Santana found the whole thing a great insult, especially now!

She might have pushed her luck (who was she kidding, she would definitely have pushed her luck), except that was when Rachel walked into the room to find her lover boy. Santana snorted under her breath. When Rachel walked into the room (interrupting the smooth flow of her life again), Santana walked off and left them in disgust.

She would show them all when she arrived at the wedding accompanied by Puck. She didn’t need any of them.

*

That would have been a far more effective argument if Brittany had shown any sign noticing. She didn’t get it. Santana and Puck were hot stuff, and seeing them dancing together had to be bringing back memories for Brittany about all of them fooling around together in bed, or in the back of Puck’s truck, in any number of positions and places. Yet, the only person she seemed to have eyes for was Artie.

Added to that, the whole theme of the wedding seemed to be aimed at making her feel worse and worse about herself. Yay, marriage and love and two people making a bond, and four people making a family and blah, blah, blah. Santana wasn’t buying any of it. When Kurt had been being bullied by Karofski, Finn had been nowhere to be seen. And then he had to go and make this big speech about now he had his back? Convenient. That’s what all of this was, and all Santana was feeling was more and more sad. Sad, and bitter.

Once the speeches were over, Santana tried to show up Artie’s dancing with her own. But the more she tried to get the other girl’s attention back, the more blatant it was that she was failing. Pride meant she couldn’t let even half of what she was feeling show on her features. But that didn’t stop Puck from pulling her up on it.

“What’s your problem?” he asked, as they were walking back to one of the cocktail tables after their dance.

Santana lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “Nothing. What’s yours?”

“Mine? I’ve got this girl on my arm that’s glaring at everyone in the wedding party. At anyone who meets her eye. At Brittany.” Puck looked as if he wanted to ask her what’s going on, but doesn’t.

That was good, because Santana doesn’t want to answer. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she told him, then commenced to work even harder on keeping what she’s feeling off her face.

*

The number of times she had picked up a phone to call Brittany and ask her over, or just to talk, only managed to add to her annoyance. If she’d thought about it, she would have realised that anger and annoyance were all that were left to her now. Instead, what she thought was that anger and annoyance were the only way to keep her from feeling any of the softer emotions that people seemed to be plagued with.

Most of all, those emotions managed to keep back the question she wanted most to ring up Brittany and ask her about: What had she done to make Brittany to go back to Artie?


	6. Special Education

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between the scenes fic from _Glee_ 2.04 - 2.09. Explains why Santana pushed Brittany away in 'Duets', and how she got her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'ed, as always, by the beautiful coquellion.

Santana had to get drunk to make the phone call. Her mom didn’t notice, she was too busy being drunk on wine coolers herself. At least Santana had style. Nothing but spirits bought by hobos who needed cash for her.

After swigging about a quarter of a bottle of rum from the bottle, Santana didn’t put the phone down after picking it up to call Brittany. After a couple of misdials—leading to some very short, very disgruntled phone conversations—Santana got through to the line that Brittany’s parents had hooked up to her room.

“Hello?” From Brittany’s soft voice, Santana could tell that the blonde’s parents had gone to sleep and she was trying not to wake them up. Santana personally had no such compunctions, but then her voice wouldn’t travel through the phone loud enough to wake parents on Brittany’s side of the phone.

“You know what bugs me?” Santana asked, for all the world as though they were halfway through a conversation already. It was the way that many of their conversations went. In some ways, their whole friendship was made up of just one very long conversation. “Trouts. Trouts are not a very good fish, especially when they look like mouths...”

“Santana...” On the other side of the phone, Brittany giggled a bit, a sound that was obviously hushed by a hand over her lips, which Santana heard in the form of her muffled giggle. “What are you talking about?”

When Brittany was the one asking, it was obvious that perhaps a little too much rum had been drunk in too short an amount of time. Still, Santana trudged on.

“I think that you and me should date. Go to Breadsticks. Come back to yours. Or here. I’m fine either way.”

There was a pause on Brittany’s side, a pause that might have worried Santana if she’d been more conscious of it, herself, or any of her surroundings.

“Santana,” Brittany said, and this time her voice was very gentle. “I can’t date you. I’m dating Artie.”

“Well fuck him,” slurred Santana, a half sleepy smile on her face. “Just like you do every boy at our school. S’not like he means anything to you. Not like I do.”

“But... he does mean something to me.” Brittany was on her way to sounding lost, or confused. To be honest, the conversation really wasn’t making a lot more sense to Santana either. Why was she saying these things? She didn’t want to date girls. She had her reputation to protect. Not dating Brittany, and having sex with Puck, protected her reputation.

“A’right then,” Santana said, as though she had it all figured out. “We don’t date. But we don’t need to. Artie doesn’t have the same parts we do, does he.”

“No,” Brittany agreed.

“Well then, s’not cheating. You’re still my girl, aren’t you Britt?”

“Always,” Brittany replied, Santana imagined she could see a smile on the other girl’s face.

“Right.” Santana nodded decisively. She looked at the clock. At some point, it had become a little past midnight. “I’m gonna go.”

“Okay, Santana. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The phone conversation clicked off on both sides, and Santana was snoring loudly while sprawled across her sheets in no time.

*

The next day at Glee rehearsal was no different than it had been before. Well, it was different in that Mr. Shue was giving important roles in Sectionals to Brittany and Mike, but that mattered little compared to having Brittany’s head on her shoulder just before he did it.

And the hangover only really irritated her when she moved.

Or when Rachel talked. Or when Finn talked. Or when Rachel said...

The fuck? Santana wasn’t worth it. Oh, she’d just been waiting for the right moment to let this bit of information out, and if Frankenteen was going to ask for it, she didn’t care whether he was Puck’s best friend or not.

Another bonus? Hearing that Santana had slept with Finn the previous year had the effect of shutting Rachel up for the rest of rehearsal, which gave Santana the blessed time to nurse her hangover till the next class.

Leaving the rehearsal room, Brittany fell in behind Artie and wheeled him to the class they had next. Santana walked up to Puck.

“I want a churro. This hangover’s a bitch.”

Puck glanced down at Santana, blinked when she had nothing more to add. “You... want me to get you one.”

“Well, duh.” Santana looked at him as if he was stupid.

Puck eyed the direction of the football locker rooms. “Tomorrow,” he told her. “I gotta talk to my football dudes.”

Santana snorted. “Is that how you’re going to get more people for Glee club?”

“Well, yeah.” Puck shrugged as though it wasn’t anything.

Santana rolled her eyes at this. “Well. Good luck with that.”

*

“There you are. I hadn’t seen you since second period this morning.”

Santana fell comfortably into step with Brittany at the end of school. She hadn’t seen Puck for most of the day since their last conversation either, but at least she’d found one of her two people. Linking their pinkies together, they walked out of the school yard.

“I talked to Mr. Shue today.”

Santana looked across at Brittany, because that was weird. Apart from the occasional one sentence barely acknowledged by Shue, Santana wasn’t sure that Brittany and the Glee club teacher had ever had a conversation before.

“Oh?” It was all she could think of to say. Luckily, Britt didn’t need more prompting than that.

“Artie gave me his magic comb, and that’s amazing, but that’s only one thing.” Her finger tightened around Santana’s, and Santana reciprocated, even though she didn’t know yet what this was about. “I need you too, so I asked Mr. Shuester if you could sing the number Mike and I dance to.”

“Brittany, you...” Santana stared at Brittany even while they continued walking, but Brittany wasn’t finished yet.

“He said that was a great idea.” Brittany was grinning at her brightly, even as Santana’s eyes widened. “You’re going to be singing while I dance.”

*

Puck seemed to returned to Loserville. Santana wasn’t just letting him go that easily. She watched him. Watched the way he looked at Lauren Zizes, just because she’d found him in the port-a-loo. As if that was a reason you wanted to have someone sticking around. If it was Santana, she would have wanted rid of that memory and of Zizes ASAP but, then, Santana would never have found herself trapped in a port-a-loo.

After that, it was like he’d shaved his Mohawk off all over again, just with less whining. And he didn’t come to her. Well, Santana told herself, that was probably because she wasn’t giving him the opportunity to; always making sure that the seats on either side of her were taken, making sure to be already talking to someone as Puck was showing up. And if he didn’t look at her, or went straight to where Zizes was sitting, it was only because Lauren seemed to be paying Puck as little attention as Santana was. As soon as that fat bitch gave it up, he’d come running back to Santana. He always came running back to Santana. It was just a matter of whether she’d take him back when he did. And, in the meantime, she’d have to find a replacement for her cover.

Seeing Brittany was easier.

“I can’t, Santana... I have rehearsals with Mike, you know that.”

“I know that, but I’ll be the one singing. Surely it’ll be helpful for you guys to get the timing right.”

Brittany thought about it for a moment, but she came to the right decision with a brilliant smile for her. “Alright. You can come. I’ll text Mike to tell him.”

By the time that sectionals arrived, Santana was stoked. They could not not win this. She hadn’t really felt this way towards the Glee club since the last time they’d been in this back room and Britt had given their set list to Sue.

Santana had grabbed her arm on the way to the bus that took them to sectionals this time. “You haven’t done that this time, right?” she’d asked in a low voice that no one else around them would hear.

Brittany blinked at her. “No...” she said. “Should I have?”

Santana visibly relaxed. “No, babe. You did exactly right.”

Things were alright, in fact, everything was alright, until just before their performance, in the green room. Mike and Tina were arguing, but that was about right. They were always arguing about Asian stuff. What was weird was that Artie and Brittany were fighting, and Santana hadn’t done anything to make that happen. As they argued, Santana sat by, pretending to inspect her nails, yet paying very close attention to every word they were saying.

When the word ‘adultry’ came out, Santana stopped making any pretence about her nails. Brittany had admitted to what they were doing? Brittany had admitted to what she and _Santana_ were doing??

She was about to storm up to her and confront her about it when she saw Brittany alone in front of the curtain. If they were talking about this, didn’t Brittany think it was something _they_ should talk about first?

But then Artie beat her to it, and Santana realised her misunderstanding. Gods, she’d been so stupid herself, to even think that Brittany would really admit to any of that stuff. She wouldn’t. No one would. Artie hadn’t even called her stupid. Brittany hated that. Santana thought, if Artie had done that instead of apologised, the end result might have been different. As it was, everything was cleared up before the curtains went up; the show must go on, true show choir style.

She could feel Brittany’s hands lingering on her as the introduction to her song played. She was already feeling the beat, feeling the strut, before Brittany’s hand touched her butt and propelled her on. It seemed that courage was being both given and received between them that day.

She walked past Artie several times as she made her Sectionals debut. At the end of it, she thought she was able to abide Artie that week, because she knew how much work he’d put into helping Brittany out. He wasn’t Puck by any means, but he could do for Brittany what Puck did for her.


End file.
